I'm Not That Girl
by angelofmusicx0
Summary: Christine reluctantly goes to the Masquerade Ball with Raoul as her date. At the ball, a mysterious man accompanies one of the dancers. How will she accept our favorite mysteryman and his date? Songfic from Wicked. Christine's POV.


**A/N: I heard this song at an ice rink recently which reminded me why I loved it so much. The story you see here unfolded in my head when I was listening to the song over and over again. I like it. Let me know what you think... Reviews are greatly appreciated!**

**I am currently working on my other story A New Life.. I lost my muse and I'm trying to pick up on it again while school's out. Hopefully I'll get a chapter up before the end of the week. **

**Thanks!**

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It was finally the night of the Masquerade Ball! I've been looking forward to this all year! Meg and I made parts of our costume so they would be unique. We've been so busy getting ready. Still, I've noticed that my angel hasn't been heard from, by anyone. Not as the Angel of Music, or as the Opera Ghost. I shouldn't say it but I do miss his company.

Meg and I are finally ready, and looking quite beautiful I might add. She went to find her mother, and I went to find Raoul. He looked so handsome. I remember falling head over heels for him when we were younger. If only things were that simple now…

He's been so kind to me; A great friend, a protector. But lately I can't picture him as more, not with my thoughts wandering to someone else. I accepted his proposal, but it just seemed like a game of pretend that we used to play by the sea. I never had the heart to break it off with him yet. He'd be crushed and I don't want to do that. He would ask why I was leaving and he'd know there was someone else, but who? A nameless man who taught me how to sing and lives below the Opera House? He wouldn't understand. And it's not like I'm in _love_ with my angel. No no no! I cannot say that. I just… miss his company.

Raoul kissed my hand and led me to the dance floor. While we were dancing, I saw one of the dancers come in, arm-in-arm with a man who nobody has ever seen before. He was dressed in a scandalous red suit with a skeletal-looking mask. Something about his appearance seemed familiar to me.

When the song ended, Raoul and I stepped aside to get a drink. We stood off to the side and watched the couples dance. It was amazing how all of the colors blended together and danced with the music. My angel would have appreciated that…

As the mysterious couple walked by, they stopped to make conversation. The blonde dancer was introducing her date. She came over to me and said, "Christine, I'd like you to meet my date, Erik." He nodded in my direction and said, "A pleasure to meet you, Christine." I knew that voice! But it couldn't be… I looked in his eyes, and indeed, it was my angel. "A pleasure as well, Monsieur. This is my date, Raoul." Raoul looked hurt that I did not introduce him properly and he corrected me, "I'm her fiancée." Immediately the dancer, whose name I still did not know, asked about my ring. "I gave it back. I feel that Raoul and I should remain friends." Raoul tried to contain his fury, while my angel- I mean Erik- began to shift around where he was standing. He asked his date to dance and she accepted.

They looked so smitten with each other. I didn't understand it. It was not only a few months ago that he took me down to his home. Had she been there too? Did he make a doll of her with a wedding dress? Did Erik do this for every girl? Am I jealous? No. I'm not. I'll admit, though, that I didn't want to learn his name the way I did tonight. If you could only see them…

_Hands touch, eyes meet_

_Sudden silence, sudden heat_

_Hearts leap in a giddy whirl_

_He could be that boy_

_But I'm not that girl._

I am jealous. After all this time of being scared to be the girl on his arm, I'm jealous that someone else is in the spot I once dreaded. I led Raoul onto the dance floor even though my heart wasn't in it. I didn't want to be dancing with Raoul…

_Don't dream too far_

_Don't lose sight of who you are_

_Don't remember that rush of joy_

_He could be that boy_

_I'm not that girl_

I can imagine Erik and I dancing right now along to the music, me spinning and both of us laughing without a care in the world. We'd be smiling sincerely at each other and there would be nobody else in the room but us…

_Ev'ry so often we long to steal_

_To the land of what-might-have-been_

_But that doesn't soften the ache we feel_

_When reality sets back in_

The quick change of tempo snapped me out of my daydream. And I wasn't in the arms of Erik, and I wasn't smiling or laughing. I looked over at him and he looked happy. I guess I'm not what he wants anymore.

_Blithe smile, lithe limb_

_She who's winsome, she wins him_

_Gold hair with gentle curl_

_That's the girl he chose_

_And heaven knows_

_I'm not that girl..._

I stopped dancing with Raoul and dramatically left the floor. People gasped as I flew by them but I didn't stop to apologize. My tears were flowing constantly as I tried to run away from the ball. I just _wish_ things were different…

_Don't wish, don't start_

_Wishing only wounds the heart_

_I wasn't born for the rose and pearl_

_There's a girl I know_

_He loves her so_

I didn't know anyone was following me until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I stopped and turned around. It was Erik. "Christine, what's the matter?" I softly sang to him,

_"I'm not that girl..."_


End file.
